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[02 Jan 2007|08:42pm] |
2007. two-thousand-oh-seven. twenty-seven. se-ven.
"of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star"
resolutions:
1, read & learn
2, less internet
3, explore and discover
those are vague so i can avoid actual goals.
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2 pokemon masters  gotta catch 'em all!
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[02 Dec 2006|04:05pm] |
535/405
It might be lonelier
Without the loneliness-
I'm so accustomed to my Fate-
Perhaps the Other- Peace-
Would interrupt the Dark-
And crowd the little Room-
Too scant- by Cubits- to contain
The Sacrament- of Him-
I am not used to Hope-
It might intrude upon-
It's sweet parade- blaspheme the place-
Ordained to Suffering-
It might be easier
To fail- with Land in Sight-
Than gain- my Blue Peninsula-
To perish- of Delight-
thanks emily dickinson, you are the greatest!!
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4 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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| the ideal sunday |
[12 Nov 2006|10:39pm] |
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woke up late, ate lunch at the deli, studied memory and levels of consciousness for psych, went to poetry reading, smoked a joint with alex, drank a huge milkshake, read a short story in french, took a brilliant shower.
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gotta catch 'em all!
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[06 Nov 2006|03:14pm] |
i'm so psyched for thanksgiving!
ps, went to bob dylan in detroit. got backstage passes and chilled with the foo fighters, who actually played really well acoustically. met & took shots with dave grohl, fufilled my middleschool fantasies. i hella love road trips. peace!
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7 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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| basically |
[01 Sep 2006|03:18am] |
college is good en generale
but i miss certain things/people
like REAL FOOD
and driving around
and knowing everyone
and everyone knowing me
having free time, all the time
slacking off
but i love things i don't have at home
like my roommate
my new friends
living next to a boy
living across the hall from a triple of boys
every night being a sleepover party
intellectual stimulation
sweater weather
no parents. ever.
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1 pokemon master gotta catch 'em all!
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[08 Aug 2006|02:36am] |
| [ |
music |
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the magnetic fields |
] |
it's late. and I am tired. and I feel like making a list about nothing/myself.
I wish I could speak French fluently.
I wish I could also rap in French.
without stability and a certain level of comfort I get all panicky.
in that way, I am a homebody.
guess what? usually when I say I don't know what I want to do, all I really want to do is go lie on in that field in New Zealand that is the background on dell computers.
I enjoy picnics.
I would like to have my own darkroom.
also an apartment on the top floor of a building in Manhatten and a garden on the roof.
secretly I wish no one else was named clare.
secretly I really enjoy watching Wildn' Out.
secretly I am kindof attracted to Nick Cannon.
secretly I hate caricatures of people.
I think I think about myself too much.
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9 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[16 Jul 2006|12:12am] |
i have not been on livejournal for a long time. and after this i'll probably keep it that way.
so. not to get really matronly and domestic, but almost every time i babysit i am reminded of how much i want kids and how amazing and pure and real they are. i was babysitting for my next door neighbors, and the girl (9) was showing me this doll she played with when she was little. she said "the doll never opens her eyes. she's always asleep." the boy (age 6. 6!) quickly retorted, "that's because she's never had a reason to wake up." and they just kept saying things like that, things that were blowing me away, making me feel sufficiently phony and dumb and basically all the bad parts about being (almost) grown up. but still, being around kids brings out the best of me. the two kids and i were having tickle wars and the boy-kid was doing all these karate chops. he told me he was a tai-quon-do master and i said, "yeah, well, guess what? i have a black belt... in tickling!" and then when i put them to bed the boy wrote a note to his parents that said "mom & dad, please chek on me. if im awake cuddle. if im asleep hug and kiss." basically my heart is really swelled and close to popping out of my chest.
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1 pokemon master gotta catch 'em all!
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[13 Jun 2006|12:56am] |
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that gradual end that always seemed so far ahead is here. my emotions vary between regret, nervousness, impatience, and excitedness. i'm not sure what i want anymore but more than anything i'm afraid i'll never figure it out.
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1 pokemon master gotta catch 'em all!
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| first time on livejournal in probably 3 months. |
[09 May 2006|12:10am] |
CAN ONLY TYPE ONE WORD. NO EXPLANATIONS.
too bad I break the rules.
1. Yourself: sunburnt & content
2. Your Lover: absent
3. Your Hair: curly, kinda dirty
4. Your Mother: birthday today
5. Your Father: complete dork and occasionally lovable.
6. Your Favorite Item: camera/notebook/puppy
7. Your Dream Last Night: can't remember
8. Your Favorite Drink: juice
9. Your Dream Home: paris. more realistically nyc.
10. The Room You Are In: office
11. Your Pet: dogcat
12. Who You Are Now: sore misunderstood and hopeful
13. Who You Want To Be In Ten Years: in love happy but still searching
15. What You Don't Wanna Be: lonely
16. Your Best Friend: like 5 of them
17. One of Your Wish List Items: computer
18. Your Gender: female
19. The Last Thing You Did: burn 3 cds
20. What You Are Wearing: clothes
21. Your Favorite Weather: spring (now!)
22. Your Favorite Book: cantdecide!
23. The Last Thing You Ate: cake deliciousness
24. Your Life: wavering between rollercoaster and complete boredom
25. Your Mood: tired
26. Your Favorite Store: h&m or target or whole foods
27. Your Favorite Sport: badminton, seriously
28. Favorite Memory: a dream I had when I was young. I was flying.
29. Who Do You Miss Right Now: peeps
30: Who Did You Get This Survey From: thomas o'brien
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2 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[10 Mar 2006|03:21am] |
why am I completely incapable of getting anything done? all I do is sleep, watch the style channel (not a COMPLETE waste of time), think of reasons to not do my work, and read so many books that are not for school. what am I going to do next year?
someday I will reveal my 5 deepest fears and secrets to a whole group of people like the girl on Made had to do. just not while I'm in high school. oh and by the way, I went to EVERY CLASS today. there were only three classes scheduled for the day, but still, that hasn't happened in such a long time.
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1 pokemon master gotta catch 'em all!
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[20 Feb 2006|05:48pm] |
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one parent-free weekend,
two consecutive parties,
three hours passed since my parents got home & they don't suspect anything.
so succexy. I ♥ winning at life.
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4 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[12 Feb 2006|07:32pm] |
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This is a great time because, 1. NO SCHOOL TOMORROW. I'm about to go drunken midnight sledding- 2. Last night was literally a fucking miracle. Basically, it was a rolling-on-the-floor-with-laughter sign from God. I love being 17 and silly and happy; 3. Metric show, March 10. Opening band: Islands (ex-Unicorns). awww shit.
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4 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[29 Jan 2006|07:47pm] |
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the past few days have been really intense and wierd and heavy. I'M EMOTIONALLY DRAINED. so many tears from everyone, bizarre experiences, too much testing, fights, meeting new people, jealousy, car accidents and hospital visits.
RIP Queen Elizabeth.
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2 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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| only because I got an exclamation point. |
[24 Jan 2006|07:23pm] |
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Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 Guilty Pleasures" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 Guilty Pleasures as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
1. I buy so many books that I know I will never have time to read. I just really like how they look on my bookshelf. Plus I get the ill discount on them anyway.
2. I like to blast music with the windows down when I'm driving sometimes in a subconcious attempt to make all the people walking feel inferior.
3. Sappy romance movies: I know in my heart they're really bad, but they are just so enjoyable to watch. I'm such a girl. Another part of this guilty pleasure is that I cry during every movie. I love/hate movie-crying.
4. Taking pictures of myself. It's lame and junk but it's also so fucking fun.
5. I spend too much time online/watching tv. It's such a waste of my time but it's really relaxing.
There, five guilty pleasurez! I tag: Mimi because she probably has interesting guilty pleasures, Barrett because he gives me hugs a lot, Tom OB because he's gay, Molly Hindenberg because she never updates her livejournal, and anyone else who wants do this can just pretend their name is the fifth.
In other news, WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME. or rather, why is it always not me?
sometimes I feel like I completely live on the sidelines. sometimes I feel like I'm too into myself. you know? I think that tomorrow something completely amazing and glorious and happy and life-changing should happen - to me, for once. Make it happen.
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8 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[23 Jan 2006|08:24pm] |
| [ |
music |
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did you see the words - animal collective |
] |
I don't know if my goldfish Queen Elizabeth is sleeping or dead and it's scaring me. Probably the stress of midterms is killing her since she lives vicariously through me anyway. We're still not playing badminton but gym is a little fun again because I'm on Team Awesome and we're playing volleyball. So maybe Queen Elizabeth will get better/come back to life soon so she can experience the glory of beating all the other teams in my gym class volleyball tournement. Queen Elizabeth is a good companion. I mean my goldfish by the way, not the actual queen. Because the real Queen Elizabeth has been dead for many years and would not make a good companion at all.
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8 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[13 Jan 2006|06:26pm] |
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mood |
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sick and possibly deranged? |
] |
I hate the fact that I am a huge egomaniac. Am I? Is everyone? I don't understand how anyone can NOT be focused on themselves all the time, because for me, I am it. I am all there is. Maybe it's just that a lot of the time I am completely in my own little world, my own universe. I always assume that everyone else is in their own universe and we're all rotating around in one big constellation, constantly bumping into each other. Why should I be focused on other planets when I am already on my own? I am articulating this so badly.
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3 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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[09 Jan 2006|10:02pm] |
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I made the best salad today. It had lettuce, chickpeas, olives, onion, avocado, sundried tomato, and cucumber. So delicious. I am a master salad maker. I consider this to be extremely news worthy. It was beautiful today. Is it a bad thing to live vicariously through others if you enjoy it completely? Someday maybe I will have my own exciting movie star life. I submitted my writing scholarship today. What if I won $10,000. That would help so much with my college loans. mhmm I hate high school, it is a complete waste of time. The usual.
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1 pokemon master gotta catch 'em all!
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[04 Jan 2006|11:21pm] |
I don't want to waste my time. It slips, squandered, through my fingers and drips down my arms.
I should be so happy. I am happy! I am a happy panicked nervous wreck and I'm drumming my fingernails and I feel choked but I'm grinning like a chesire cat somewhere inside. Perspective is important and it's what I need.
It is winter. There is slush. Soon it will be spring and we will all bloom again. What am I talking about?
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4 pokemon masters gotta catch 'em all!
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